Today is F*‘s birthday. It has been a long time since I saw him or we spoke, but his birthday popped on my iphone and a memory jolted in my head.
When I came back from holiday a few months ago I went back to the office and the most beautiful arrangement of white roses was on my desk. They were planted in a beige teacup and the rest of the team was dying to know who they were from.
They were from F*.
I tried watering them according to the instructions, googled how to care for them, asked people that were keen gardeners but slowly the flowers started withering, until the very last leaf was dead.
A colleague asked me why this happened last week. ‘You were so good with them. You took such great care of them, did everything you should have done. Why did this happen?‘.
I responded to him without thinking: ‘because sometimes, no matter how much you water something, it just dies. It is not your fault, it just happens‘.
When I finished that sentence a pained smile formed on my lips. Sometimes, no matter how much you try, it just doesn’t work out. It is not your fault. Don’t keep blaming yourself. Sometimes, this is how things are. And that is ok.
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent