I was walking down the stairs at work today when it hit me. I am happy. I have my health, my family, I have a job I like, people that I consider friends and I am seeing a man that even the thought of him makes me smile. Of course, this brought a moment of internal panic.
There is a fear in the DNA of happiness. This is great, but it is too good to be true; this feels wonderful, but for how long; this will be taken away from you and your heart will break and you will break and nothing will make you that happy ever again.
This is the element that robs happiness of its shine; instead of magnifying it, it dims it down. However, I allowed myself to think of the alternative: it might not be too good to be true because maybe I deserve good things; I don’t know how long it will last for, but I will appreciate it for as long as it does and make sure I feel every minute with my whole psyche; if this is taken away from me my heart might break but I won’t and something will make me that happy again, something different yet equally uplifting.
I found myself smiling, and embracing happiness. I don’t know what will happen in the future. All I know is that now, at this moment, at this spot, as time is passing and life is moving, right now, I am happy with being happy. There is fear in happiness but there is also hope. Today I choose hope.