I am experiencing a new kind of tiredness; an aware tiredness. I am noticing how knackered my body feels, how drained my brain is, how at the end of the day rubbing my eyes and pushing my chin to my chest is spreading a soothing sensation over the rest of my body.
I had not been aware of that for a long time- don’t get me wrong, this is not a form of enlightenment- I still ignore most of the warning signs throughout the day, shrugging off the hunger until audible sounds alert me (and the rest of the office) of my need for food, realising that the bottle of water I keep next to my desk is still full after 8 hours, and always feeling surprised when I see the clock at the end of the working day, wondering when exactly the day happened?
The difference? I am more aware of it. I know it is happening, so I try to stop myself from doing it. I am trying to be more mindful. I stop and listen: what do I need right now? It might be a cup of lavender tea, or a piece of sea salt and lime chocolate (although a Cadbury’s marvellous creations will also do the trick), or just a few minutes on the street outside of the office for a deep inhale of fresh air.
I still have a long way to go for being totally in the moment all the time, but even these few instances help me be aware of how much I need them. I would encourage you to sprinkle a few of these ‘what do I need right now‘ moments around your day. The answer might surprise you.