I spent the day walking down empty streets. It was cold, so I kept tucking my chin in my duffel coat, lost in the latest Emmy the Great Album.
I jumped on the 59, climbed on the empty upper deck, and sat in the back. I kept looking out of the windows, as if it was the first time I saw the streets I see everyday. We passed Waterloo station, and then hesitated for a minute before the bridge.
Passing over Thames, the light started creeping in, filling the front rows, making the inside of the bus glow with tones of orange and gold. I turned my head towards the sun on the very last possible second, and my vision was blurred, a big white hole in the middle of the most beautiful view in London. It was as if the sun crept in me, and warmed me up. I found myself smiling.
I decided to skip my visit to the Grayson Perry exhibition, and hide in the British Library instead. Armed with an Americano, a gingerbread man, and the latest Julian Clary novel (guilty pleasure :)), I discovered a dark corner in the cafe, and read incessantly, until they closed.
I am now at Costa. Creme Brûlée latte at hand, I realise it is the first time in the last two weeks that I had the chance to get out of my own little world and appreciate what is around me.
Apart from a rather magnificent Christmas day, the last 15 days consisted of stressing over the future, ignoring the past, and getting through the present as fast as possible. And today, I took a deep breath; and stared at the sun; and danced in my living room at 80s cringe pop; and dunked a gingerbread man in coffee; and wore a ring with a moustache on; and acknowledged my 2 week-long pity party.
Does this make everything ok? Probably not. But it makes today better. And tomorrow looks a bit more …magnificent.
I hope you all had a lovely festive season, and did not fret over present selection, turkey preparation, or reindeer sweaters. I hope you reconnected with someone you haven’t talked in ages, or told someone you loved that they are important in your life. And most importantly, I hope you took a moment for yourself, just for you, to sit down, and do nothing, think nothing, say nothing.
Love you all,